Deep Conditioning Recipe

Eye of toad and leg of frog,
Manky water from a stagnant bog,
Stir in a cauldron until it's hot;
Then add a dram of gremlin snot,
Dance about an Oak tree, naked in the fog,
And when the mix has cooled, pour it on the dog,
If the brew is perfect, the coat will shine,
And be enhanced with a texture so fine,
If it's not your dog will stink,
And you'll need to pour yourself a good stiff drink

Graham & Fly

In the 70s I owned an afghan, OH so proud
I listened to David Bowie, OH so loud
We strolled the beach, most every day
and in our garden , we'd run and play
He was my friend, for so many years
And when he was gone, I shed so many tears
But all the memories make you strong
and through our lives we do things wrong

But,

owning Sebastian was not one.

Jan Twentyman (Gothika Afghans)

BATH TIME
Come on little man, it is bath time...time is short, so don’t be a pest
Come on little man, I can see you I can...even though you are trying your best
Your eyes shut so tight and your breathing so light, there is barely a rise of your chest
Your tail is quite static, your reluctance emphatic with your nose to the wall closely pressed
But whilst your face, it is true, is hidden from view, you have sadly forgotten the rest
So come on little man, I can see you I can, even though you are doing your best

Cathy Harding (Ashahni Afghans)

What is the cause
of all my joy?
A beautiful gold
black masked boy

Totally reckless
without a care
leaping and flying
through the air

His love of life
knows no bounds
he's a wickedly wonderful
Afghan Hound

Jayne K

 

Laments for a burned out mop 

"ODE TO MOP"
Its hard to take, but I’ll be strong,
And think of happy times now gone.
Oh how we danced with gay abandon,
Searching for the bits to land on.
The work was hard, but you just stuck it,
Standing proudly in your bucket.

Your stringy bits swirled round so free,
Soaking up the pools of pee.
So beautiful a sight to see,
You filled my little heart with glee.
But no more will you dart and dash,
For you are now a pile of ash.

Oh how I wish the pain would stop,
And lightening had not killed my mop.

ANON (Alias Cathy Harding-Ashahni Afghans)

How sad a mop should be reduced to ashes,
Killed off by thunder and lightening flashes,
There she stood, so tall and proud,
Her demise brought about by a big, black cloud,
The bucket that once was her haven,
Left empty and sooty black like a raven,

Your mop kicked the bucket, I'm so sorry to hear,
I do hope a replacement will soon appear,
If only to help keep the doggy pee smell at bay,
Hopefully it will arrive before the end of May!

Anon (Alias Marcelle King-Belamba Afghans)

I CANT BELIEVE THESE POEMS ON HERE

AND THEY ARE GETTING WORSE I FEAR,

AND ALL JUST FOR A MOP AND BUCKET

I'VE JOINED IN TOO NOW, OH............................................HECK!

anon :o)- (Alias Stuart Andrews-Andizhan Afghans)

WE'RE ALL MAD....

Poor old mop it's bit the dust
Lonely bucket full of rust
Drainpipe burnt and needs a paint
Poor hazel feeling faint
Girls x legged don't no what to do
GET A NEW MOP AT B & Q

Jan Twentyman (Gothika Afghans)

Anon (Alias Marcelle King-Belamba Afghans)

THE SHOW

They made me have a bath – what a chore
Then they brushed my coat and said I needed more
It’s raining today, into dog coat I go
Now I can annoy them and walk real slow.

The journey is boring , so I dribble a lot
My coat is all wet, it’s part of my plot.
They’re not talking to me – I think I’ll be sick
I’m pleased with that, it’s my latest trick.

We get to the show and panic sets in
I hear her say ‘I could do with a gin’
They dry me with towels and stroke my head
It’s all such a fuss – I want my bed.

Into the ring we all do go
Will I be good? The answers no
I move like a crab – the sun is too hot
She is trying so hard, but I am not.

Poor boy, I know you don’t like the car
But you will always be my little star
Next time , into a room we will book
And have breakfast in bed that I won’t cook.

At my next show I’ll do everything right
Especially if we get to stay the night
I can lay on the bed and have bacon and eggs
And in the morning I will be all fresh.

In the ring I will move like a dream
We will together, make such a good team
I’m sure we will go into the bar
And then like a good boy I’ll go home in the car!!

Shirley Carr (Bozwood)

 

END OF THE RAJ

I am going to commit a sin
because all I want, is to win.
I have studied the shows
and seen judges who know.

English is out and foreign is in
all the old breeding can go in the bin.
I don’t want balance, extension and spring
nor drive or ringed tail, it just won’t win.

Which country to go? I’ll choose anywhere
I’m not that fussy, I really don’t care.
As long as he moves like a clockwork toy
I’m sure I’ll go far with my new boy.

On the move his legs should flap
with tail banging on his back
I’ve got to move fast, on a diet I must go
It’s frowned upon to move too slow.

I’ve chosen a boy, who can go to stud
no ones seen him, but in they flood.
All my costs will soon be paid
Lots of off spring and I’ll be made.

Parties do’s and Kennel Club dinners.
Soon I’ll be there amongst the winners.
Overseas appointments, Rolex or cash
Go for it - and give it a bash.

Some say, not all is lost
But everything seems to have its cost.
Dog showing is a funny old game
And to lose the fun will be a great shame.

( with tongue in cheek) Shirley Carr
 

When the Afghan came to Britain
He had such an awful fright
The sunny British summers were far colder than his nights.

So what's a dog to do with this?
How can he get het up?
"I'll grow my coat all long" he thought
And what'ya know, it worked!

But all across the globe they changed
Growing different lengths
The long coats being much preferred
The sparse ones being left

And now we see a comeback
Of short and sparse and saddled
Clipping, stripping, shaving off
The poor Affie's coat they hack

But British bred or foreign
Gold, Black, Red or white
Are they not the same great dogs?
Do we have to have a right?

Can we not appreciate their varying degrees?
And see life through an Affie's eyes
Upside down on our settees

Steven Robertson (Hubblebub Afghans)